The Pittsburgh Pisces announce that they have added a bonus baby to their pool of talented minor leaguers. William Shultz, despite being born just six days ago, was signed to a multi-year contract by team owner (and father) Mack Shultz.
"We're not sure what position he is going to play for us, or even what hand he throws with. In fact, we don't think he can even throw yet. But, he's clearly going to be a hell of a player," said Mack Shultz. "William is still on the Disabled List (i.e., in the hospital), and will remain there for another four weeks or so, but we think he's got a world of potential."
When asked to explain the signing of William, who clearly is not a Pisces, the elder Shultz said, "I'll talk to his mother about that. It was her job to time the birth."
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Very wise to lock that fellow up early long-term. Judging by his (pre-term) size, you might be looking at a future catcher for years to come.
Congrats again buddy!
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