Stockholm/Pittsburgh trade

Newly-signed Sluggers OF Bryan Caraway caused a major disruption upon arrival at Stockholm Arlanda airport this morning, and was immediately deported from Sweden back to the United States, this reporter has learned.

When team spokeswoman Gudrun Schyman was reached, she could only confirm the signing, and subsequent trade to Pittsburgh for Caraway, and nothing in between. "Yes, we signed Bryan to a one-year deal worth $925,000, but we decided to go in a different direction and subsequently traded him to Pittsburgh. That's all."

Passengers on the Stockholm-bound flight tell a different story. Caraway was apparently very drunk, and made inappropriate comments to the flight attendants, and the unfortunate woman sitting beside him on the nine-hour flight to Sweden.

"He had just signed a contract and wanted to celebrate," said Anna-Frida Johansson, a 19-year old student finishing a three year stint of being an au pair in the United States. "At first, I was intrigued by the handsome baseball player. I learned to follow baseball while in the United States, and I'm so glad we have a team now in Stockholm!"

But, joy quickly turned tragic on the flight. Caraway kept buying little bottles of whiskey and rum. "It was obvious he was trying to get me drunk," Johansson explained. "He knows we use the metric system in Sweden, and wanted to know what we called 'The Mile High Club.'"

The abuse didn't stop, as Caraway was overheard asking the young, pretty Johansson if she was a member of the Swedish Bikini Team, and asking if she was a natural blonde.

"As we continued into the night, he kept getting more and more brash. Is that the word?"

Ultimately, Ms Johansson asked to be reseated, and the flight crew gave her special treatment. Caraway spent the last three hours of the flight whining about "I never wanted to play for Sweden, anyway, they're just a bunch of Ikea-pansies."

Word of the drama at 10,000 meters quickly reached Sluggers headquarters in Stockholm. "Once we heard about Caraway's regrets of signing the contract, we called his former team in Pittsburgh, and had a deal within moments."

Caraway returned to the United States on the return flight, hours after landing, without even clearing customs in Stockholm. Hungover, belligerent, and mutually unwelcome in Stockholm, he sulked in the departure lounge, waiting for a direct flight to Pittsburgh.

"There are no direct flights to Pittsburgh from Stockholm," Sluggers spokeswoman Schyman explained. "We decided to get him home in, as you call it, 'the scenic route.'"

The Pittsburgh Pisces will send 1B David Solar to Stockholm, as well as $50,000 for Caraway's travel expenses.