Pittsburgh Bolsters Playoff Push

The Pittsburgh Pisces today announced the acquisition of two key players to bolster their unexpected playoff run today. The Pisces acquired infielder Juan Favela and outfielder Joseph Watson from the Helena Handbaskets. Favela is expected to become an immediate full-time starter while the left-handed Watson is likely to platoon and play primarily against right-handed pitchers.

In exchange, Pittsburgh sent west starting pitching prospect Chris Saez as well as two major league reserves without minor league options--shortstop Jason Largo and outfielder James Rhodes.

"We're thrilled to add two impact players to our team," said Manager Moses Guthrie. "Both are wily veterans who will help show our youngsters the right way to play the game." Guthrie then enthusiastically dunked a rolled up piece of paper into the trash can, over the outstretched arms of bench coach Lucian Tucker.

Surprisingly, two young players who are expected to see their playing time diminish were also in favor of the move. Both current shortstop Alan Williams and centerfielder Tracy Snider said, independently, "We believe that what's best for the team will be what's best for us. We're excited for our new teammates to join us in our attempt to claim the division title." The flat monotone in which both players delivered the identically-phrased sentiments made one wonder whether Official Team Astrologer Mona Mondieu may have added hypnotism to her cupboard of tricks.

Saez, however, expressed some regret about the trade. "First I go from New York to Pittsburgh. That's ok, Pittsburgh is at least still a city. But then to go to Helena? You're kidding, right. I'm not even sure I want to make it to the majors now."