Stockholm keeps selling

In yet another trade, Stockholm GM and wheeler-dealer Michael Weintraub shuttled the league's largest salary, that of ace SP Chad Gomez, in the process acquiring pitching prospect George Martinez and the aptly-named infield prospect Steven Smotherman from New York, along with New York's fourth-round draft pick next year. New York also sent SP Stanley Sirmans and C Lauren Ice to the Sluggers to help off-set some of Gomez's bloated salary.

Once-proud and perhaps still-convalescing from last season's torn rotator cuff, Gomez arrives in the Knights clubhouse hoping to be the difference maker in the team's push to knock off perenniel Socratic League power and local rival Brooklyn. GM Eric Lent said, "We hope this sets us up with a dynamite rotation, even if we can't hit as well as the Bombers. We need lots of fannies in the seats the rest of the year to pay for this guy, but just couldn't pass up adding another potential #1 to join Hultz and Nix. We are asking fans do their part, however, by eating 14 hot dogs per person each game to raise the necessary revenue. So guys, if you bring a date to the game, come hungry if she's not going to eat all of her 14."

According to Weintraub, "the money saved on Gomez's contract will be used to buy new bikinis for the Swedish Bikini Team Smasher Girls." (Reports from the league office indicate officials are working tirelessly to find photographs confirming this expenditure.) "We're finally facing our Waterloo [this season]," Weintraub added, "we were defeated, you [Pittsburgh/Seattle] won the war. We couldn't escape if we wanted to."